"Oh, I haven't mastered a fucking thing, actually.  My own relationships have little drama that isn't caused by my own lack of reaction to events.  But when I take actions myself, such as moving around and breathing, I exude some mysterious effluvium that causes enormous amounts of drama to start happening in everyone around me."

"Oh, I haven't mastered a fucking thing.  My own relationships have little drama that isn't caused by my own lack of reaction to events.  But when I take actions myself, such as moving around and breathing, I exude some mysterious effluvium that causes enormous amounts of drama to start happening in everyone around me."