"Flight crew has started assembling the process for it, we have five volunteers with relevant practice but they're waiting for your sign-off before proceeding. They say it's a classic clever-engineering problem but not one that they're going to solve in the next 5 minutes, especially given that they have to assume the multimeter in the onboard repair kit was also sabotaged, and they intend to work on the assumption that any one of the five might be a Conspiracy confederate. Also if the Conspiracy is really trying hard, which they clearly are, they might have concealed a transmitter on emergency bands which broadcasts the antipattern for the standard targeting clicks, so we won't be able to hear those on the hand-built radio either. That wouldn't stop us broadcasting to Exception Handling, but it would make it harder for us to find the right frequency to broadcast on."
"Unusable good news: There's some market probability on this being a prank."