(In dath ilan there is a standard practice for resolving marital disputes, particularly disputes where both sides think they're communicating more clearly than the other, or where both sides think they're being charitable and the other side is being uncharitable.

This standard practice is to install audio recorders in all the rooms in the house, wait a month to collect data, and then submit a record of all tense marital interactions to a panel of three confidentiality-sworn judges, to determine whom the judges thought had argued more validly or behaved less helpfully.

Often, of course, the knowledge that your disputes are going to be reviewed, or seeing how your friends bet in the prediction market about who's going to win, is sufficient in itself to clear up a relationship conflict.

But fundamentally, the reason why so many marriage disputes end up in unhealthy mental states, is because the married parties don't have a good way to objectively score their performances, or tell who's actually winning, at being the more helpful partner.  And the solution - audio recorders and third-party judges - is straightforward, but you have to actually do it, and preferably before your relationship finishes falling apart.  There can be other things that go wrong with a relationship, of course, but all those things are easier to resolve after you've established common knowledge of who's currently winning and by what sort of margin.

Mid-Keltham didn't suggest this course of action, back then.  Mostly because he didn't know there to find fair judges between himself and Carissa; even an inevitable from Axis would still be of Creation, might fail to understand both sides, and might not have enough Law that it was allowed to speak of in Golarion.  And also because something about the whole thought seemed off, with respect to relationships in Golarion... like maybe Golarion relationships did in fact tend to revolve around other problems than that.)

(In dath ilan there is a standard practice for resolving marital disputes, particularly disputes where both sides think they're communicating more clearly than the other, or where both sides think they're being charitable and the other side is being uncharitable.

This standard practice is to install audio recorders in all the rooms in the house, wait a month to collect data, and then submit a record of all tense marital interactions to a panel of three confidentiality-sworn judges, to determine whom the judges thought had argued more validly or behaved less helpfully.

Often, of course, the knowledge that your disputes are going to be reviewed, or seeing how your friends bet in the prediction market about who's going to win, is sufficient in itself to clear up a relationship conflict.

But fundamentally, the reason why so many marriage disputes end up in unhealthy mental states, is because the married parties don't have a good way to objectively score their performances, or tell who's actually winning, at being the more helpful partner.  And the solution - audio recorders and third-party judges - is straightforward, but you have to actually do it, and preferably before your relationship finishes falling apart.  There can be other things that go wrong with a relationship, of course, but all those things are easier to resolve after you've established common knowledge of who's currently winning and by what sort of margin.

Mid-Keltham didn't suggest this course of action, back then.  Mostly because he didn't know where to find fair judges between himself and Carissa; even an inevitable from Axis would still be of Creation, might fail to understand both sides, and might not have enough Law that it was allowed to speak of in Golarion.  And also because something about the whole thought seemed off, with respect to relationships in Golarion... like maybe Golarion relationships did in fact tend to revolve around other problems than that.)