"And at Splendour 25 I can, apparently, just bull-rush through letting myself some of that, if not all of it, so I have spent a few hours curled up sort of blacking out and not doing anything, and then another few hours letting myself starting to feel some of the more bearable things. But it is still not clear to me yet that - I want to be a person, here, or would benefit from being one, while I have to destroy at least one city and then -"
"I should just say, destroy the multiverse. If anything other than that happens, it'll be a nice bonus, but it cannot be what I am trying to do. It is just, hard, to follow that rule around you, when you do not - act like we are aliens negotiating, but like - I'm making a mistake and being a bad person inside your own moral framework. It is very tempting to talk like I am trying to save the people in Hell and cordon off a protected area of the Abyss, just because I want that and expect to get it as the actual result of my actions, but it is not, cannot be, what I am trying to do."