"I'm only not updating to Conspiracy on the spot because I can't see why the Conspiracy would be hiding that, and why they wouldn't have made up a more plausible state of confusion, and why their unfalsified theory set would be theories I could personally test within five minutes. What is wrong with this planet? If it even existed before I materialized here."
"How we gonna apply a standard amount of damage, I'm thinking using standard weights to apply a measurable amount of force to a blade laid across my arm, but maybe you've got better ideas."