" - so I kind of have a theory that dath ilanism might accidentally crush some things about the way I am, so if you had children with it they wouldn't grow into adults with it. But I'm not very sure, i can just sort of feel it in tension and maybe I'd have found a resolution even in dath ilan.
...also at least some of attraction is - in dath ilan even if you had delightfully complicated feelings about your boyfriend being scary towards you, everyone knows that he's not supposed to do that, so it must've been aa failure of self-control, and failures of self-control are not generally appealing, and if you told your friends they'd think he was much less valuable and people want lovers they can show off -"