...it's started to feel like somebody is recounting a colorful fascinating backstory for atmosphere, rather than something that actually happened, which potentially indicates that he's under enough internal stress to produce derealization.

"Yeah, that's around as much damage as Civilization could do to a planet and they might need a few months of lead time to scale it that far.  Well.  It's as much damage as they could do, using methods that people like me are allowed to know about, but..."  But why talk about that or think about it, if you're not a Keeper.  Except - there are no Keepers here, out of dath ilan, just Keltham, now.

"I think I should stop talking about this, Carissa, at least for the night.  I may not be able to simultaneously handle the aftermath of nonsimulated violence and also - thinking about what my being here may have set off."

...it's started to feel like somebody is recounting a colorful fascinating backstory for atmosphere, rather than something that actually happened, which potentially indicates that he's under enough internal stress to produce derealization; the whole point of history is that it actually happened.  Civilization may have hidden much of it, but for what remains, in the recent and far more distant past, the whole point is that it's not just another story.

"Yeah, that's around as much damage as Civilization could do to a planet and they might need a few months of lead time to scale it that far.  Well.  It's as much damage as they could do, using methods that people like me are allowed to know about, but..."  But why talk about that or think about it, if you're not a Keeper.  Except - there are no Keepers here, out of dath ilan, just Keltham, now.

"I think I should stop talking about this, Carissa, at least for the night.  I may not be able to simultaneously handle the aftermath of nonsimulated violence and also - thinking about what my being here may have set off."

...it's started to feel like somebody is recounting a colorful fascinating backstory for atmosphere, rather than something that actually happened, which potentially indicates that he's under enough internal stress to produce derealization; the whole point of history is that it actually happened.  Civilization may have hidden much of it, but for what remains, in the recent and far more distant past, the whole point is that it's not just another story.

"Yeah, that's around as much damage as Civilization could do to a planet and they might need a few months of lead time to scale it that far.  Well.  It's as much damage as they could do, using methods that people like me are allowed to know about, but..."  But why talk about that or think about it, if you're not a Keeper.  Except - there are no Keepers here, out of dath ilan, just Keltham, now.

"I think I should stop talking about this, Carissa, at least for the night.  I may not be able to simultaneously handle the aftermath of nonsimulated violence and also - thinking about what my being here may have set off."

...it's started to feel like somebody is recounting a colorful fascinating backstory for atmosphere, rather than something that actually happened, which potentially indicates that he's under enough internal stress to produce derealization; the whole point of history is that it actually happened.  Civilization may have hidden much of it, but for what remains, in the recent and far more distant past, the whole point is that it's not just another story.

"Yeah, that's around as much damage as Civilization could do to a planet and they might need a few months of lead time to scale it that far.  Well.  It's as much damage as they could do, using methods that people like me are allowed to know about, but..."  But why talk about that or think about it, if you're not a Keeper.  Except - there are no Keepers here, out of dath ilan, just Keltham, now.

"I think I should stop talking about this, Carissa, at least for the night.  I may not be able to simultaneously handle the aftermath of nonsimulated violence and also - thinking about what my being here may have set off."