"I think you should err an awful lot on the side of visibility, until I've been on this planet for longer than two days and can guess literally at all what the ass is ever going on without tons and tons of evidence.  I have been through mental training and it's not like it would be easy for you to pressure me into sex I didn't want and then successfully do mental damage to me that way, because, for example, I will in fact say no if you ask me to have sex while I'm still shaken up from my first nonsimulated violence.  Knowing this, you know that it is safe to be visibly sad around me, that you cannot easily hurt me like that; this is a dath ilani's dignity, and at higher levels, their friendship."

"I think you should err an awful lot on the side of visibility, until I've been on this planet for longer than two days and can guess literally at all what the ass is ever going on without tons and tons of evidence.  I have been through mental training and it's not like it would be easy for you to pressure me into sex I didn't want and then successfully do mental damage to me that way, because, for example, I will in fact say no if you ask me to have sex while I'm still shaken up from my first nonsimulated violence.  Knowing this, you know that it is safe to be visibly sad around me, that you cannot easily hurt me like that; this is a dath ilani's dignity, and at deeper layers, their friendship."