"...okay I checked in with my inner self and if there's some later stage of my life where I would want to be tied up and hurt in a sexual context, I haven't at all gone down the path that leads there.  In fact my self seems to be - sort of weirdly violently against that happening to me, to a degree greater than I'd expect from small amounts of pain?  I've done painful things but this was just like a very loud inner NOPE.  I hope that's not too disappointing."

"...okay I checked in with my inner self and if there's some later stage of my life where I would want to be tied up and hurt in a sexual context, I haven't at all gone down the path that leads there.  In fact my self seems to be - sort of weirdly violently against that happening to me, to a degree greater than I'd expect from small amounts of pain?  I've done painful things in nonsexual contexts - by dath ilani standards, not yours - but this was just like a very loud inner NOPE.  I hope that's not too disappointing."

"...okay I checked in with my inner self and if there's some later stage of my life where I would want to be tied up and hurt in a sexual context, I haven't at all gone down the path that leads there.  In fact my self seems to be - sort of weirdly violently against that happening to me, to a degree greater than I'd expect from small amounts of pain?  I've paid pain costs in nonsexual contexts - by dath ilani standards, not yours - but this was just like a very loud inner NOPE.  I hope that's not too disappointing."

"...okay I checked in with my inner self and if there's some later stage of my life where I would want to be tied up and hurt in a sexual context, I haven't at all gone down the path that leads there.  In fact my self seems to be - sort of weirdly violently against that happening to me, to a degree greater than I'd expect from small amounts of pain?  I've paid pain costs in nonsexual contexts, but this was just like a very loud inner NOPE.  I hope that's not too disappointing."